The lies grow and expand,
and I try to keep up.

Slowly losing control,
I watch as everything I've built
crumbles in front of me.

Wishing that I had done things differently,
but knowing that nothing can ever be changed

I stand there,
letting the wind whip my face,
praying that they would leave marks,
wanting to see angry red welts on my skin.

The betrayal is clear in your eyes,
hear the hurt in your voices as you ask me,
"Do you not trust us?"

Like a slap,
the words hit me in the face,
leaving me to fall as you walk away.

"Do I trust you?",
I don't know.

Wishing I could apologize
for all the wrong doings,
I seek you out, begging for forgivness.

"You shall not seek us out anymore",
and again, I am left to watch you,
fading away from my vision.

Lies, lies, oh lies,
they brought me pain,
they brought me misery.

But I still cannot regret,
the descision of keeping things away,
because in the end, the truth would've hurt
far more than the lies.

Tears mean nothing,
they are just drops of salt and water.

Pain means nothing,
it is there to make us feel alive.

Love means something,
only to be turned into nothing.

She already hates herself. What is the harm in pushing her all the way over the edge? It isn’t like she hasn’t ever considered it before.

Varför känns allting som en evighet?

Jag försöker att fortsätta, det gör jag, men det finns tider då jag bara inte orkar. Tider då jag vill bara krypa in under täcket och hoppas att jag försvinner.

Varför ska det vara så svårt att släppa taget om det som varit?

Det känns som att någonting närmar sig, ett slut eller en ny början. Jag vet inte vilket jag hoppas mest på.

Det fanns en tid då jag inte ville något annat än bara dö. Det spelade ingen roll hur, bara jag kunde försvinna.

Allting är så grått, all glädje borta. Hur kunde jag tillåta mig själv att bli såhär?

Jag vill inte.